Day 3 - Water Play

Today was another good day.

Below is a description of our day today followed by a deep dive into the strategies and philosophies were applying to get the results we're seeking. Hopefully, you may find some of these strategies and philosophies helpful for behavior management and relationship-building with your children at home.

This is a "stream-of-consciousness" post, so please excuse its meandering nature.

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Today, we shifted things up and had the Martial Arts practice inside one of the classrooms so the art and craft activity could happen on the lanai outside.

This allowed for a more calm and nervous system-regulating space for the arts and crafts participants, which is what we wanted, so that was a win.

The art and craft project ended up being a bit more than what most of the kids (especially the youngest) could handle, in terms of the dexterity of their hands, but still they enjoyed it.

In the martial arts classes, we continued with our regular skills, drills, games and activities.

Water play was a big hit, with lots of fun on the water slide and several opportunities for navigating conflict surrounding throwing water balloons at people with and without consent, splashing, taking turns on the slide, etc.

Our 2-minute timer system has been working very well. Campers may share or else they may have a 2-minute timer, after which time they have to give up the toy, swing, or whatever else it is that someone is wishing they could use.

One thing we've noticed is that sometimes the best way to get the best future result isn't by applying consequences*, but is instead to pull one child aside and have them talk through exactly what happened, step by step, supporting them to calm and regulate their nervous system as they talk it through.

Then, ask them how the issue could be avoided in the future. Then help them come to reasonable conclusions. Then support them to apologize as necessary. And then rinse and repeat with the other co-involved party to the dispute.

*Sometimes the answer IS to apply a consequence -- like a 2-minute time out from using the water slide or the pool or something (consequences are applied in a matter of fact way, with accompanying words and tones that convey compassion rather than frustration or judgment (as much as possible).

All in all, the kids had another great time today, water play was a hit as usual, and there were no serious disputes or issues.

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Also... at the beginning of the day we did a cool thing with everyone. We had the children lie down and receive sound-offerings from our gong, our tinkly bells and our xylophone, and scent offerings from our sage stick, in support of generating "good energy," which we then used to make some of the foundational pro-social wishes for everyone everywhere ("May Everyone Be Safe", "May Everyone Be Happy").

By making these wishes out loud together at the start of the day, we set our collective intention and mindset, aligning ourselves with this worthy goal and in so doing, identifying each other as peers in a process of bettering the world around us, one social interaction at a time.

Also, throughout the day, we are using songs constantly to bring us together and keep us on task working together. Songs include: "Let's make a circle like the circle round the sun...." "Mr Sun, Mr. Shining Sun," "Clean Up, Clean Up, Everybody Everywhere," "Tops & Bottoms, Tops & Bottoms," "Make New Friends, But Keep the Old... ."

We use call and response ("I'll say Nature, you Say Ninjas... Nature!," "If you can hear me, clap once," "If you understand, say 'Yes Coach.'"

We ask for silent and still statues before choosing a "tapper" who then gets to tap other children who are calm and still, in order to dismiss children into lines in an orderly fashion.

We use warm and supportive and lyrical tones and upbeat energy as much as possible to create an emotionally warm atmosphere.

We support the kids to step into leadership roles and to work together to achieve goals, whether it's rolling up a carpet or lugging a Costco wagon up the hill filled with a couple of 3-year olds. Working together towards a common aim is a powerful and practical way of aligning children's (and adults') energies, and so we do not let this tool go unused.

We try to communicate through everything we do and say and how we say it that we care about them, that we have unconditional positive regard for them, and that we want them to feel safe, happy, and cared for, and we're willing to take immediate action to help that be true.

All of this combined with the amazing property we get to hold the camp on, along with our fantastic counselor-to-camper ration (often lower than 1-to-4), and a bunch of great kids, leads to everyone having a pretty great time while learning and practicing important social and emotional and age-appropriate self-defense skills, while also developing appreciation for nature and its cycles.

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Another thing we're doing is supporting kids to engage in slighly "risky" or conflict-forward activities (like "chicken fights" and "ninja sword play" and jiu-jitsu training) so that they can learn to channel and put boundaries and context around aggressive energy within themselves or coming from others. We are of the belief that it is better to channel these waters than try to hold them back or suppress them.